Less drinking and more thinking

Nearly two weeks into this new year and it’s going well. That’s nice to type. No drinks just yet. I thought I’d walk through the next few weeks with a sober eye. So far I’m taking note of a hunger that is seemingly beginning to ignite. It’s been there for a while but drinks, stress, and ladyboy time have kept my course on hold.

Writing is back! Working on a couple of books. Thought I’d break into the Tic Toc world and have posted three short videos based on my past work.

Thinking this year’s going to be an interesting ride. Wish me luck.

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Every other weekend

Blue, orange, and pink skies make way for the rising sun. I’m sitting on my mobile home’s black metal steps. It’s getting light outside after sitting here for over thirty minutes. Today will be a great day! I’m waiting for a glimpse of his midnight blue Ford pickup truck. I am eight years old and my parents are divorced. Every other weekend a fair trade is made between my mom and dad. Today I belong to dad. Thinking back, I was spoiled by both of them and loved like crazy. This made it all ok, mostly. Our trailer was the last one at the end of the gravel road. It sat parallel to a forty feet wide ditch that ran for miles and miles. Pasadena Texas was the perfect place to grow up in. Childhood adventures were limitless.  I ride motorcycles and I’m damn good at it. I ride a Honda mini trail 50. All the lights are stripped off and my racing plate is sporting a big X made out of electrical tape. X was Speed Racer’s brother’s racing number! Racer X. Loved that guy.

Dad will be here any minute. He picks me up every two weeks and takes me to the Rio Bravo motocross track. It’s our ritual. I have plans to get an XR 75 and truly start racing but for now, all I get to do is ride the track during practice before the real races begin. After that, I will spend the day watching every race with my dad either with me or at least nearby. Lucky for him they sold a lot of beer; lucky for me they sold a lot of hamburgers and soda.

I can see his blue truck coming down the gravel road now. I can see his jet black hair and smiling face as he gets closer. Today will be burned in my memory forever. It was not necessarily more special than the rest, but for some reason, this very morning always comes to mind. I have a vivid recollection. I can still see the grin on his face as he pulls up and says, “Let’s go!”.

Haven’t seen him in over 27 years since he left this spinning earth. Forty-eight years later I still remember that morning, watching him pull up to take me to the races. So many more memories to ponder. For that, I feel lucky and blessed.

Happy father’s day dad.

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Cleanse success

So we made it seven days out of ten. I will claim total victory though. My body was awakened to its natural state. I also learned pizza and beer doesn’t have to be the norm to live in Nirvana. Kudos to Michelle who is currently in the kitchen making some kind of weird Asian salad for our supper. She truly is the Non conformist I always longed to be.

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Day 2: A Saturday cleansing fiesta!

Constant hangry behavior from all four of us on day two. We are all doing our best to honor my wife’s insane request for a ten-day smoothie cleanse. On top of that we are blessed to be incorporating the colon cleanse as an added bonus. I can’t begin to explain nor would I the things that I experienced this morning at 6:00am this morning. Thank God for air freshener.

As the past two days have gone by everything I see relates to food. I’ve never realized how many commercials talk about food. Thousands a day. It’s like when your buying a new car then magically you see the same make and color everywhere you go. Have to say though, the upside is that I have lost three pounds already. I’m sure the experienced diet pro would say that it was just water. I’ll take it. Any evidence that this hell ride is productive is a good thing. I did work on the opening pages of a new book this morning so that’s also good. About mid-day we went to the lake and watched our youngest son paddle around in his Kayak. The distraction was good for all of us.  All in all, I would say this exercise in restraint has been fruitful. The family is more connected than ever as we watch each other to see who will be the first to snap. My children will talk about this for decades. In about five years it might actually make us laugh. Actually, when Michelle called us down to dinner tonight I yelled out that I only want two pieces of dark meat roasted chicken with my garlic mashed potatoes. I think someone laughed as we all slivered down to the kitchen for our green smoothies. Pedro is having a great day though. He finished off the rest of my sloppy Joe today and got to go to the lake with us. I keep waiting for this euphoric clarity, something similar to the runners high. It hasn’t happened yet. Maybe tomorrow….sigh

 

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Officially Day one…(The Cleanse begins)

Day 1:

As most weekend days, my Jack Russell friend moans at me to start his day. No one thing could be more important than his assured outside morning walk and his three-course breakfast. I spoil him because he deserves it. I look over at my sleeping wife bear and smile. Today is the cleanse! The things you do for love. I do the morning things then jump into my truck to make my way to a haircut appointment. The cut goes well and I decide to run errands while the sleeping hungry people sleep.

My hangry side is kicking in and I lovingly call my Michelle to let her know that the anticipated sexy green smoothie that I was to have for breakfast was missing in action. I take my coffee black and have decided to keep those precious two-morning cups firmly in place. If not for the coffee I might have already gone rogue; coffee makes me nice. My Michelle lures me back home with the promises of the best smoothie ever! She is nervous I can tell. She wants this to go well and wants company on this insane venture. I reel in my crappy attitude and make my way to the kitchen bar stool. I want this to be good for her. She is the best wife ever, for my Michelle, I will walk across this metaphorical broken glass floor barefoot and be smiling. I can say this with confidence because it’s only day one. I got this. The bright green drink filled with fruits and lettuce is actually pretty tasty. No really.

The day rolls on, I venture back out to buy twelve colored mason jars so we can all have our three drinks made ahead of time each morning. A skipped drink could turn any of us four angry family members into vicious killers. Such angry thoughts; it’s only the first day. As the day progresses along I can feel my cells trying to let me know something. I’m not sure what they are saying but their pushing and shoving mood is speaking to me softly from within. Things are already beginning to stir in my body and this first day is most definitely a taste of what is to come.

This evening I walked into the kitchen and found my daughter gazing into the pantry. She was too close for comfort. I politely encouraged her to be strong and get the hell away from the pantry! Michelle and I just finished snacking on some raw carrots and zucchini. I tried to lay on the couch with her to watch Murder on the Orient Express but could not stay awake for it’s mumbling guilty characters. Now I’m doing this. Typing into the abyss. Who knows if anyone will read it. It’s ok, it keeps my mind off food. Day one is on the downside. Day two will no doubt be interesting. Tonight we take the nice little pills that Michelle innocently says will cleanse our families colons. It hurts to write that last sentence. I take this seemingly nonconfrontational pill.

Gentleman, start your engines!

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Cleansing anticipation

Day 01: I pull into the driveway after a long week of work. It’s Friday evening. My pleasant Friday has arrived, the day before the plunge or purge as it were. Pulling into my driveway, my mind races to begin the evening’s blessings. Michelle will be making extra sloppy Sloppy Joes and stuffed baked potatoes tonight. She will be piling the plates high tonight because she knows the dreaded cleanse is upon us! Tonight there will be music, beer, and movies! Tomorrow will be different. The next ten days will be different.

My special wife has been promoting a green smoothie breakfast lunch and supper undertaking. After several weeks of hinting, suggesting, then outright pleading that we as a family join her on this batshit crazy cleansing concept. I along will my two reluctant teenagers agreed to join in. We made Michelle’s year. We committed ourselves to her bloody torture. Ten foodless days! There will be the occasion apple, boiled egg, and the extra sexy green smoothies. That sounds good? Out of love for Michelle we agreed. The family’s committing to my wife’s hellish request.

It’s 10 days, how bad could it be? There is the special added feature to this adventure, Colon cleansing pills that we will enjoy throughout this three day Memorial Day weekend. Yep, there will not be burgers on the grill or evening wine. There will be green smoothies and colon cleansing for all! It occurs to me that our house only has three bathrooms and there are four of us. That could lead to issues.

I spend most of Friday night sipping beer and thinking about the leftover bowl of Sloppy Joe that I saved for a late night snack. The problem is, I fell asleep and now it’s Saturday morning. Crap! What was going to be the best late night snack ever would now have to be tossed out because life as I knew it is over. Day one has begun. It’s good though. I will lose my belly fat and my wife will adore me for engaging in her cleansing hell. I got this.

 

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Ripples, Echos, and Divorce

I came across a divorce blog from a thoughtful blogger today. Her handle is stilllearning2b  Her blog reminded me that I have come along way since being thrown out of the house and having to work three jobs to put my life together. I was ripped into so many pieces back then. My bloodshot eyes and state of shock life were spinning out of control or so it seemed at the time. My marriage of twenty-one years ended. For the record, ended against my will. I wrote a cathartic divorce recovery book during the years of recovery. It’s called The Consequences of Breathing. It was my companion during the purgatory of pre-divorce and my best friend for years after. Keeping this journey in a word document saved my sanity during the lonely late nights of my new and forced rebirth. I recommend journaling or even going the distance to put out a book if you can force your self to get it all down and into the keys. It is good to get it out. It was how I coped back in the day of divorce world. If not journalling, then talking to a friend or even a stranger helps. Strangers can be like angels in disguise during divorce and recovery.

I think of those early days of separation from time to time. It was living hell on earth, to put it mildly. I did grow though. I fought through the pain and legal battles. I finished raising two beautiful children who have since grown up and are leading fruitful lives. Trust is the only hurdle I never was able to gain victory over. I have since married the most amazing woman. We’ve been married for eight years now and even though she exhibits monumental positive characteristics, trust for a long-lived marriage is a mental struggle. (If you read this post Michelle, no worries. I love you like crazy) I’m always waiting for that day where it all ends again. I hope it will never come.

Good luck and peace be with you. I welcome your thoughts……..

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Back cover of Three Wheels Out

Love how this back cover came out. It really captures the essence of Three Wheels Out. It’s my Skateboarding, Surfing, and Garage band coming-of-age book.

Set in Pasadena Texas, the book is littered with sex, drugs, and Rock and Roll. Taking place in the 70s, with no cell phones, X Box or Social media, just endless Summer days seeking a new ramp to skate and girls girls girls! Earl, Donald, and Billy experienced plenty of first times and more than their fair share of teachable moments.  An epic YA book!

So proud of Three Wheels Out! Check it out on my Author page: amazon.com/author/robertmilstid

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